09 June 2019

Please Forgive Me, Mr Randy Newman

Engraving by Gustav Dore
You've got a frenemy
You've got a frenemy!
When Zakir Naik is drooling in your bed
And Mazlee is more Mr Neuman instead
Just remember it's all in your head
When you've got a frenemy
O, you've got a frenemy
Courtesy of Google images
You've got a frenemy
You've got a frenemy
East for the east, so you stay on the West
We're not racists, we're simply the best
We'll behead you like we did to the rest
Yeah, we will aramaiti
When we toast to our frenemy!

While eagles and sparrows
Can't be bedfellows
They never fly eye to eye
Remember feathers can only fit pillows
Premier or prince will greet the Reaper guy

With polling years ahead
Don't wish the PM dead
Or curse the plans LGE has made
Just love your frenemy
Yeah, you've got a frenemy!!!!

10 April 2019

A Day Without Fire

And there you have it!

A No 1 Fuel Tank indicating zero. No fuel, no combustion, flame out!

I enjoyed this particular incident because it's not every day that anyone can jokingly claim that they flew back to mainland on an empty tank. Too many fingers would point at you for bad fuel planning, bad airmanship and a host of other skull-impacting insults. 

But you would also see the amber captions which traces the fault to a No 1 Fuel Probe, which is like the fuel sender in the No 1 Fuel Tank. Faulty sender means faulty fuel quantity indication.

With 310 kilograms of fuel in the No 2 tank and a connecting flange sitting above the 228 kilogram level between No 1 and No 2 Fuel Tank, hydraulic laws would mean that the fuel would equalise between tanks. This means that the No 2 tank indication was equal to the fuel in No 1 tank till the fuel drops below 228 kilograms in No 2 tank.

It was an interesting day, having theory being demosntrated in real life, and trusting the whirly bird to get us home.

10 March 2019

Thank The Monkey

That's the guy.

One of many which line the lane to the airport. They sit there at lunch and tea time, waiting for handouts from passers by or to watch the wild boar nuzzle for goodies between the roots and shoots along the very same road.

We know what good parents our Malaysians are when they feed these creatures from their parked cars for an evening of family amusement in ditchwater dull Kerteh, insisting on tossing the food scraps onto the middle of the road where the simians become a road kill hazard when the more humane option would be to toss the food on the grass, right where they are parked, engines running.

I ran over one of these one evening after a long day at work as I was heading back to my apartment. Of course I was remorseful, till five minutes after, when I heard painfully loud groaning noises emanating from my front suspension which I had already changed two days before, closer to home. Further investigations at a my regular mechanic's centre in Kuantan, not Kerteh, revealed that the suspension replacement  was carried out with incorrect suspension mounts. Lesson to self was to stick to one reliable chap instead of the closest at hand. And the epiphany was that if hat little fella hadn't dashed right into my driven path at the last possible moment no matter how I tried to avoid him, I may never have discovered the hidden hazard in my suspension.

Looks like the only morally right thing to do, in spite of remorseful roadkill, is to thank the monkey.